Was Asperger's to Blame for a Recent School Shooting?

It's been said on numerous and almost countless news sites.  The shooter had Asperger's Syndrome.  And repeatedly the same source posts article upon article that the shooter and his Asperger's were not related.  I normally don't even feel the need to bold face or underline things, but since people need to be reminded time and time again that they aren't related, I felt the need to.  I could probably even justify myself if I highlighted them, circled them, and pointed arrows at them.  Instead let me point out perhaps 3 sources that you could read before I carry this any further.

Leave autism out of mass shootings (CNN) by Alex Plank

Is autism a link to violence (NBC News) by staff, KSBY News

No Link Between Asperger's Syndrome And Violence, Experts Say (Huffington Post) STEPHANIE NANO

Ok, so I hope you at least read one of those and have a clear enough picture, if you didn't before.  People with Asperger's syndrome have problems with social queues.  They have problems showing empathy.  And yes sometimes they do reactively lash out.  They typically do not strike back with plans thought of ahead of time.  Not to say that 1 out of 1 million won't.  It's just very unlikely.  As a matter of fact, someone with no problems with psychological or in this case neurological background is more likely to do such a thing.  I said it in a previous post that anybody could do something this horrible.

So, you might ask about the lack of empathy shown by autistics.  Well, certainly they don't show it much, but the thing with autism is that a person with autism quite often feels more than what they show.  It's a type of communication that they have a problem showing.  It may not feel normal to them to express it.  It may not feel comfortable for them to show it.

As for me, it is very hard to show my emotions.  However when they do they, come pouring out all at once.  Sometimes in tears, by myself or in front of people.

But they lash out reactively.  Yes, unfortunately many of us do or have in the past.  This is more typically in our younger years.  When we get older we learn how to manage our impulses.  Those that react, react out of fear and pain.  There's always a reason for it, whether necessary or not.  The ones that do might hit someone or push someone.  That's about the extent of it.  Later, we learn not to do that as we grow up.  Still there are temper problems even into our adult hood.  Many have learned to manage this as well.

As for me, growing up I have hit or shoved people in my younger years and mostly in my youngest years.  My impulse to hit a bully turned into hitting solid objects.  I have hurt and somewhat skinned my knuckles on walls, in the past.  Yelling?  Yeah, I have yelled in the past, too.  This is still an on going thing, but it's exceedingly rare for me to be in a situation where I feel enough of or the right kind of pain to yell.  Ok, I yell at my video games, but who hasn't?  They're out there.  Show of hands.  :)  The last time I yelled I was in a room with people I knew well enough.  The first and main ingredient is something to be be outraged about.  So if I feel someone did or said something that I'm completely outraged by then that's the number one ingredient.  That's not all.  Without the rest of these ingredients I will not lose my temper.  It must be a room where I feel no very easy way out of.  I must know many of the people in the room well enough otherwise I'm more apt to walk out or cry.  No open spaces.  I'm more likely to walk away, if someone displeases me at Wal-mart.  Not many strangers.  People are scary.  I don't know what to expect.  So to summarize it must be in a place I normally feel comfortable in or rather be very familiar with and that goes for the people, too.

Another thing about Aspergers is that people that have it follow a certain moral code.  Many people have their own, but typically follow what our teachers brought us up with.  We're more likely to follow the law when we can at all help it.  We don't like to stand out.  I don't speak for all autistics or aspies when I say the following.  When I was growing up and even some now, I'm more likely to socialize or get some understanding from people older than me.  I was more able to be myself around authority figures or those that are in a position to help me with services or jobs.

So is it any wonder why we sometimes do get mad and show it?  After all, we're typically the victims of bullies of any form.  We're the ones that don't seem to fit in.  We're the ones that are lonely.  So to add to that, now we're being stigmatized by people that read one story on a shooting and now believe there's a correlation, because the media messed up and later admitted it.  But many people read the one story and stick to that.  They don't care what is said later.  They think they have all the information.  The media can't apologize enough, but to be gracious for their apologetic efforts in fixing that, I can only forgive them.  But I'll have a harder time with those ignoring the press's later statements that violence like the shooting and Asperger's is not related.  Those people I have little sympathy for, because they don't often use their heads.  I make no apologies for what I'm saying to any of those that believe in a non-existent correlation.

All Crimes Are Committed By Someone Mentally Ill?

First off, no.  Actually most crimes are committed people that are completely sane by medical standards.  Ok, now that we've got my main point let's get to it.  I miss the old days when crimes were committed by psychos and psychopaths as people called them.  Crazies.  There wasn't anything specific to people's rationale as to why someone did something.  It's just like pointing out that there was just simply something wrong with the person and it's true isn't it?  A poor person needs money to pay a bill.  Well, he has a gun.  He can hold up the local store clerk and in the process, oops, kill him.  Was their something wrong with the person.  Of course, but the person can be perfectly normal.  All he needed was a big motivator.  Maybe his heat was being shut off this winter.  And you know people can't go without heat.  Many people can't stand that.  So there's his motivator.  We don't usually see why a person does what they do.  Often times the crimes are simple and for simple reasons.

Now we have school shootings.  This is a more complex situation.  Lately the one thing that's been trending in the news in so many shootings or other crimes is "this person has asperger's."  Not sure where this has come from entirely.  I suspect since the term is a trending topic as of late and people are learning more about it, it's on people's minds.  Now people really don't understand what asperger's is all about.  They know the basics of it.  A couple things that stand out are the awkward behaviors and the other is the lack of show of emotion.  Well, rest assured, as we, like every normal person is, that although we are capable of it, the likeliness that we would do such a thing is generally the same as all normal people.  Just like the guy that shot up a store clerk for his gas bill I mentioned earlier.

The apparent lack of emotion is the big indicator for people.  "He's not showing any emotion  He must have asperger's," is probably what people are thinking.  Well, actually when someone commits a crime that big, they often lock their emotions away in their head.  Seems to be a normal thing to do for some people, really.  Try to hide their guilt, so they hide emotion in the process of hiding their guilty look.

But school shootings are complex situations.  There's a lot we don't know.  There's a lot that we don't see.  There's a lot we can assume.  We try to rationalize people's behavior now.  It obviously doesn't make it right, but we're all looking for a reason.  We're all looking and asking why.

In the end though, we have someone that did something.  We can't stop it.  We can't read minds.  As much as we like to think we have control, we don't.  We like to think we can take care of these things.  We all want that power.  But we simply can't do that.  All we can do is deal with it when it comes and pray for those lost and those hurt.

Live like nothing can go wrong.  Love like nothing can stop you.  You never know when the unexpected may happen.  Don't live worrying about it.  Don't try too hard to rationalize it.  If it's not in your best interest, then just leave it be and bandage and pray for those left behind.

The Copyright Debate

Animation Software - Powered by GoAnimate.

My take on the whole copyright deal.  I couldn't get everything in this video that I wanted, but I got the just of it.

New laws needs to be made and negotiations between people on the sides of fans and people against the "infringement" need to take place.

The internet is like this...  Say you're on the street and you get to talking to someone new and suddenly you get on the topic of "Family guy" and you just happened to buy the episode and put it on your phone.  So you talk about "Family Guy" and you show him part of the episode from your phone.  Now imagine this taking place on the internet.  The internet has a different feel to it.  When you click a link to a copyrighted video, it's like bumping into someone on the street happening upon someone with the same taste and thinking it's funny.  The thing I'm saying that we should start seeing the internet this way.  The internet just has a different feel to it than real life.  Copyright is no different in or out of the internet, but it is being treated VERY differently.  We need to make it clear that real life is a very different beast than the internet, but we should treat it the same way we do real life.  The thing is is that the internet is crystal clear and you see everything.  You see things happening that you don't see in real life so clearly.  With the internet, it's right there in front of your face and at your fingertips.

The Problem With Horror Movies Lately

I see so many problems with horror movies today.  I'm a big fan of these films, but the biggest problem is that they aren't scary.  They try to explain off everything as to what's happening and why it happens and blah blah.  Come on folks, leave us some mystery.  Leave us something to the imagination.  Don't show the bad guy.  That's one way to scare.  Paranormal Activity did a great job leaving things to your imagination.  That movie scared me.

The found footage type films are quite possibly the scariest most eerie things to me.  I mean, you can't see a demon.  You see all this weir activity.  It's all subtle, except for PA 3, which wasn't so subtle.  I've kinda lost faith in Paranormal Activity since the 3rd one, because of that.  I'll probably watch 4, anyway, though.

And the monsters aren't freaky enough to me, if they do show them.  If you want to show something scary, you might as well go all out and hire some crazy artists.  There is plenty of crazy looking artwork out there on the internet.  These people may even be waiting to be hired for this reason alone.  Hire them to desire some scary monsters.

I'd also like to see a move to more practical  special effects instead of doing so many things in CG animation.  CG doesn't look tangible.  It's like Who Framed Roger Rabbit, trying to put in something that so far away from looking real, that it's laughable and you can't take it seriously.  I'd really wish they'd go with 80s special effects and I'm sure by now that those type of effects could more easily look better in today's movies than in the 80s.  At least those creatures looked like they were really there.

G4 goes GQ and "Attack of the Show" Is Cancelled

When I heard that G4 got bought and that it was gonna go all GQ like, geeks everywhere cried "Oh, hell no!"  And we all have something to complain about.  Where the hell do they get off knowing what people want?  If they knew what people wanted, they'd do it better and keep the target audience.  Alas "Attack of the Show" and "X-Play" are cancelled and will be living out the last two months of their lives.

Now I'd rather not get graphic with my language on this blog, but I really feel the need to say it like it feels to me.  "Attack of the Show" is the only show of it's kind on tv.  Geek media, video games, and tech with a good ounce of geek humor.  That's what I like.  But this news of it's cancelation is like being told I have 2 months to prepare for a horde of zombies bent on raping and molesting me before they devour my flesh.  It feels like a straight shot to the crotch, along with a good old slap to the face.  I am appalled that the geek population is now thought so little of on tv all over again!  Where on tv is there even a source for all things geek?  "Attack of the Show" was that show!  There is no other show like it on tv.

Everyone, it's time to say "I am a geek!  And I want my shows back!"

Job Update 2...

Ok, after keeping up a great positive attitude so far and feeling great about it, I had to face reality.  They were holding my hand the rest of the way.  I was fowling up.  I started to get nervous.  And I had to quit.  The job was too unpredictable for me.  I thrive in an environment where I know just what to do next and when customers call in all the time, they always give me something that is hard for me to react to.  No, I never got rude, nor was it necessary.  It's not their fault.  I didn't have any rude customers to be honest.  It was just not easy, actually down right hard to keep up with things when they don't know what they want exactly or if they want anything.  I am the one kind of person that if I constantly am asked to do tasks where I am frantically trying to figure out what to do next, I can't handle it or do it.  If you want to rely on me for something, it must be something I know the immediate answer to.  That's how an aspie like me works.  So it was hard to face this reality, but I had to.  I hung in there and did what I could, but once I saw what I was really like in this situation, I knew it wasn't right for me.  But hey, I made a sale.  One commission.  And I tried.  :)

Job Update...

I am now doing practice calls and listening to other calls.  On top of that I did at least 3 real calls.  No money made.  They had to be transferred.  I'm having my hand held through most of this.  The problem seems to be that I do good with routine and that's what a lot of it is, but when you start taking real calls, the caller throws a wrench into the works, mistakenly giving me a wrong model number, which I have to figure out and repeat to them when I find one like it.  Other times They'll ask "Do you think it's this that's causing it?"  I can't answer that since I'm not a trained technician.  So if they don't know I have to transfer them and it's kind of hard to find out just who I transfer them to sometimes.

Another thing I've run into is that I have this problem where if you're talking to someone whose line is not quite up to par or is old and not so clear sounding.  I have a hard time getting their name and such.  This should be ok to get through once I figure it all out.  But I am having my hand held through it so far as I trip up easy.  I have notes all over my desk and monitor to help me, now.

Starting a Job

Ok, so I know I haven't written in a while, but here's something that I just started.  I got a job with the help of employment services (for disabled people).  The job is with a company that sells appliance parts over the phone.  People call in and give their model numbers and we have to locate and order the parts that they're asking for and we have to up-sell an item such as cleaner or whatever other accessory that can go with their order.  We receive commissions on our sales.

There are 14 days of training and then we are to start.  I haven't yet gotten out of training and am doing well to stay positive.  The supervisor is asking me to sound more confident.  One practice call I was nervous.  The next one, not quite so much, but I still need to work on it.  I can find things kind of easy and even that needs at least a little more work.  I'm forgetting to up-sell, but I feel I am getting better.  At least I'm feeling better.  Like I said I'm doing well to stay positive.  He did say that it was a good call the last time we practiced, but I still need to work on it.

Getting to Watch More Anime

Ok after having gotten a tablet, I've spent time watching anime comfortably.  Netflix has very few on streaming and I can't just buy all there is, so on my tablet I'd at least watch 2 episodes of something almost everyday.

Here's what I've been watching:
Oreimo:  About a young girl that models as her job, is good at sports, and is very popular in her school.  Her secret though is that she is a closet Otaku.  Even into sister x brother anime games on her computer. O.o  Her brother finds this out on accident one day and she has to show him her stash behind a bookshelf in a closet.  Her brother gets closer to her.  (No!  Not that way!)  And tries to help her find others with her interest, although she stereotypes her own kind.  Stereotypes are dropped throughout the series.  A great series so far.  I'm half way into it already.  12 episodes.

Monster:  I started this on Netflix, but stupid them, they dropped it off streaming and the dvds only are out through season 1.  I am 48 episodes in to this 73 episode monster.  It's intriguing and a highly regarded anime.  A doctor saves a child's life after he was shot him in the head.  Years later murders are being commited and the doctor knows it's the kid he saved and he's the only one who knows.  He is framed for murder and on the run in search of a way to prove his innocense.  There are so many twists and turns in this series.  Johhan, the murderer, is very clever and smart, dodging all of Doctor Tenma's efforts.  There are many shocking moments.  This is one to check out.

K-On:  This is a very simple anime about a girl named Yui who looks for a club to join and discovers the lite music club.  Thing is is that she knows nothing about playing an instrument.  The characters are cute, especially Mio, the bass player.

These are just a few.  I thought I'd pick my top 3 to talk about.  Happy anime watching everyone!  :)

Tell It Like It Is, But Be Careful How

I was a tell it like it is, when it is, kind of person.  When I was mad, I let you know.
I made a video a while back that I eventually had to erase.  Why, because it targeted a place and people.  More specifically the school I went to and the people in it.  I told it like it was.  The bullies in the school treated me like crap.  I was punished for telling it like it was to the bullies.  I was punished for speaking my mind.  Dammit!  I was mad.  I've learned to forgive since then, but it doesn't change the horrible mistakes they made in treating me like the criminal, when I was trying to survive the jungle that it was.
Here's the thing.  When you're mad, your tone of voice and the words you use to convey your hurt, that's all they hear.  They feel attacked.  They don't care what your message is.  They could give two craps what your problem is.  It's kind of selfish not to think of you, but that's human nature.  You're attacked, don't expect your message to get across to people.  It won't happen.  They're too much inside themselves to care that you're hurt, because you're hurting them in retaliation.
Use "I" messages.  "I feel hurt that you didn't stand up to me.  And because you're the principal, it is my personal belief that the victim (being me) should receive help.  Not punishment."  "I feel I was violated." 
Now being a person with mild autism, and at the time I did not know this either, I didn't know how to control my rage.  I didn't know how to react.  Or maybe I didn't, but felt no control over it, because I was hurt so much.  Ignoring them only built up my rage.  I felt that their advice and their actions or inactions were inadequate.  They needed a better way to handle me.  They attacked me like I was the bad guy.  They were mad at me.  What right did they have to be mad at me?  If only they could see through my eyes.
But I must let that go.  They were totally clueless and inadequately prepped for someone like me, that just couldn't handle my issues.  So knowing now what they didn't then, I can only wonder what they would do.  I can only hope that future generations have it better.

My Life Isn't Exactly Eventful...

but I love it for the most part anyway.  Sure I don't get out much.  Sure I don't get laid.  Sure I don't got to bars or dance clubs.  I don't do sports.  I don't go to crazy parties. 

I don't have a job.  Jobs are hard to come by.  Bosses have been known to kick me out.  I don't go out to lift weights.  I don't exercise enough, which I will be working on. 

Before I moved out of town there wasn't much drama as there is now, which shouldn't involve me.  I stay out of it.  I have my opinions.  I get scared.  No wonder I don't get out to meet new people.  It can be a whole lot of drama.  You don't know what you're getting into.  I'm glad I'm missing out sometimes.  I can't handle all that drama.  All the gossip.  All the crack headedness that goes on out in the real world.

I like peace in my life.  I like the friends I do have and I slowly find more.  I know what to stay away from and sure I can do better at meeting people, but I'm fine.  I like my video games.  I like the drama to stay on my tv screen where it belongs.

So in closing, I know what I like and I have what I like.  I'm no greedy corporate head that wants profits to go up.  And if I was a big boss of a company, I wouldn't know what to do with all that money.  I don't want a stupid mansion.  An apartment would suit me fine.  Art hanging on my wall.  Anime wallscrolls.  I don't want Picasso.  My computer?  If it plays Skyrim at the time of this writing, then it's perfect.  I don't need a $2,000 rig to play games.  A pool?  They're nice, but why not the creek?  Or better yet friends with pools or a public pool.  If I owned a pool, it'd be boring being the only one in it.  And then I'd have to maintain it.  ugh.  A car?  If I can borrow one to get someone once a month, fine.  Otherwise I can walk to where I need to go to buy the necessities. 

A girlfriend?  I'd love one.  Can I handle one at the moment?  Who knows.  Relationships take work.  Do I have the time for it?  Sure.  But life says I'm not ready and I better take it as it is.  Move along.  I'll get there.

Is my life perfect?  No.  But everything is fine the way it is.

Bring Back AMC, Dish Network!

I want some Zombie action/drama and when I want it is when it comes back to AMC.  June 30th AMC was dropped from Dish Network, because of some petty negotiations between them and the owners of AMC.  Thus some other channels that are packed with it; ie WE and IFC.  Now I used to love IFC, so that doesn't make me happy either.

Here was my reply as I really love "The Walking Dead."

"Ok, I just heard you dropped AMC. Now there really isn't anything on there I watch. But there is one program that I'm a huge fan of The Walking Dead and I'm telling you now, that if AMC isn't put back on by Season 3, I will go nuclear! Bring back AMC and resolve this petty money dispute."


They replied back with this full length e-mail.

"Dear Valued DISH customer,

Thank you for your e-mail.  

The channels AMC Networks forces us to deliver -- WE, IFC and AMC -- do not give our customers the best content at the best value.  We have permanently removed them from the DISH line up as of June 30. 

AMC Networks has further devalued its programming by making its handful of popular shows available to consumers via iTunes, Netflix and Amazon.com. This means that AMC Networks wants us to pay many millions of dollars for content that is available to our subscribers the next day for just a couple of dollars.

Among DISH viewers, movies on AMC are substantially more popular than its few original series. But customers have better choices than AMC as DISH offers Blockbuster @Home, dozens of movie channels from partners like HBO, Showtime, Starz, EPIX, HD Net, MGM HD, IndiePlex, RetroPlex, PixL and the latest new releases on DISH Cinema.

People don’t want to and shouldn’t have to watch their movies interrupted with commercials.  The movies shown on AMC are not commercial-free.  DISH is proud to offer customers alternative programming options that deliver great movies, un-interrupted. 

DISH is providing more movie content to its customers. We will offer top quality, commercial-free HDNet Movies at channel 130 to replace AMC.  HDNet, soon to become AXS.TV, will be at channel 131 to replace IFC.  Style will replace WE at channel 128.  Additionally, we are providing all of our customers with a free preview of great independent films on IndiePlex and to dozens of top movies on Encore for the month of July. This will give our customers a taste of the thousands of movies on demand as part of Blockbuster @Home.

At DISH, we stand up for our customers every day to deliver more than just the best in entertainment.  We have remained in contact with AMC throughout this situation.  Should AMC choose to change their position, we remain open to a proposal that would resolve this issue.

Thank you for being a valued and loyal customer.

Sincerely,
DISH"

Now I may only watch "The Walking Dead" on that channel, but some other shows people will miss are "Breaking Bad," "Mad Men," "The Killing," and "Hell on Wheels."

They claim to be looking after the customer, because there are alternative channels with free movies without commercials, some of which are also old movies.  AMC, of course, does have commercials and I'm sure they edit them.  But there's really no excuse here.  It's really all about the green.

The way I see it we have two options.  Dish customers mass e-mailing them on why they don't want to lose the channels or mass mailing AMC to get them to change a proposal to Dish Network.

A New Job?

So, I've been through job assessment for OVR and part of it had me working or rather taking a look into a call center that receives calls for parts for appliances.  Namely washers, dryers, microwaves.  Basically kitchen and cleaning appliances.  And I think Air conditioners.

The woman doing the assessment has said that I may actually end up working  part-time there.  Finally, more income aside from the little SSDI.  I would have been okay, living on my own with it, but I don't think I'd like it near as much.  At this point I'm unsure about the job.  The phone used to scare me a little, but I do have experience working with customers, bu that was a flop, because most of the time, face-to-face with a customer is draining and sometimes downright nerve wracking.  When I'm on the phone I would imagine that much of the stress will be gone, so we'll see.  If not this place, than I'm sure there's got to be another office job that will hire me.

I've been told it's rather easy, once you get into it.  Do a lot of Google searches for part numbers or gather information from the customer on where it is or what it looks like and as long as they have the model number, I should be able to find the part.  That is, of course, if it's discontinued.  Then it's tough luck for the caller.  =/  Unless of course they can get a used one off the internet.  Even if something is discontinued, that doesn't necessarily mean there's no way of getting it ever.

It's a small place and that's just as well.  Training goes on.  A manager is there, just in case I need help.

I'll let you know how it goes when it happens.

Please Excuse My Tardiness...

in posting to my blog.  I haven't been feeling myself lately.  Well, that and I haven't done any real thinking on what to post as of late.

First off I have GERD or Acid Reflux and it's gotten so bad as of late that they had to bump up my appointment with the Gastroenterologist.  For quite some time I've been having chest pain and before that I was taking Aciphex, which is like Prilosec or Prevacid, to stop heartburn.  The heartburn had gone for the most part and I've been fine until the chest pains.  All signs pointed to my stomach.  My heart is perfectly fine.  I had a scope done down my throat and all to find I have moderate esophagitis.  Which is the wearing away of my esophagus.  Yesterday was when I had my appointment bumped up.  I call, because I was complaining of a soar throat and various worsening of my symptoms.  Last night I had the worst pain since my kidney stone.  I hurt so bad, I could barely stand it.  As it was close to my time to take my stomach medicine, I took that and several minutes later was much better.  I may fill in what happens next later.

I must warn anyone that is addicted to Mountain Dew or any soda with caffeine that drinks as much of it as I used to.  Try switching to Kool-Ade.  I know water isn't the same thing and it can taste quite bad to many people, especially after drinking it for so long.  Caffeinated soda is really a bad thing for your stomach.  I have finally got off of it completely now.  I may have one when I go out once in a while, but I will not buy them by the case anymore.  This stuff can lead to some serious complications.  GERD is not a good thing at all.  Don't just deal with the pain.  Untreated GERD can even lead to cancer.  But of course I'm being currently treated for this.  I do have some worries, though.  I plan on trying to find alternate things to eat, too.  The biggest culprits in my previous diet included tomato based products, spicy foods, and things that contain a lot of grease or fat, which is ground hamburger or any fried foods.  Also citrus is one of the biggest no-nos of all.  I stopped drinking orange juice many years ago, because it gave me mad heartburn.  Funny how Mountain Dew(just one bottle)didn't bother me as much as it contained orange juice.

E3 '12

It seems everyone is into Halo 4, but as I am not a big Halo fan I won't talk about it here.  It's a sequel.  It's another cool shooter and the fans are talking.  That's it.

What grabbed my attention?  Assassin's Creed III.  Sure it's another sequel, but I saw things in that that make it much more unique than previous sequels.  It does take place during the Revolutionary War in our country, The U.S.  What makes this unique as far as gameplay?  Wilderness travel.  All the games before featured anything outside cities as waypoints to other areas of the games.  There is fighting of bears.  There's hiding and running along the narrow branches of trees.  Unique assassinations.  If you watched the demo on E3, note the way Conner hangs the red coat from the tree.

One of the biggest presentations on E3 was brought to you by Ubisoft.  They started out with a presentation on a world wide OS that runs everything in all cities and town, like electricity, street lights, etc and EVERYTHING has the potential to be hacked in reality, so the idea of one OS controlling everything is dangerous.  When I saw this video presentation, I wondered where they were going with it.  The next part was a description and title of a new IP called Watch_Dogs.  This game is simply amazing.  The character you play can hack into phones and spy on conversations.  He can trap people with anything and everything that is controlled by this OS.  For instance, the street lights, which he used to create an accident to get to his target.  Truly a unique game.

Lollipop Chainsaw.  First glance at this title screams bargain bin garbage.  And at this point even with the show gameplay, I'm still skeptical, but they are really pushing this game, so there must be something to it.  We'll see when the game comes out and is reviewed.  Right now it looks like a flashy, gorey, and rainbowy  action zombie brawler.

The Last of Us.  This game looks simply amazing.  Explore a world where a fungus has taken over people's brains and turned the into zombies.  But what's a zombie world without renegades who are violently trying to survive by killing anyone that is barely a threat.  Beware when you run into them.  The action in the game isn't too simple.  There's a lot of stealth like in many games now.  Hold a man hostage.  Use him as a shield.  Gorgeous graphics.  Can't wait to see this one.

So, what can I say about the Wii U.  Well, like the original Wii, I'm initially skeptical.  Wii won me over late in the game, but the only problem was the lack of 3rd party support.  Hopefully that changes with the Wii U as this is much more like a ps3 or Xbox 360 and then some.  Nintendo doesn't disappoint.  It's been taking people by surprise and it probably will again.

No announcement of a new PS or XBox.  Rumors people.  Rumors.  They mean nothing to me.

Oh, another game that has me intrigued is the new Dragon Ball Z game that uses the Kinect.  Just make the motions for a kah may ah may ah and so on.  A fighting game that uses motion control?  Nice.  Prepare to get tired.  That is, of course, if this even works as it should.

Take note of another game.  The new Tomb Raider.  Gameplay looks superb.  Can't wait to play.

So, are you an Elder Scrolls fan?  Skyrim is the first one for me to actually be playable.  I love it.  Now, I'm not going to be play a subscription based MMO again, but it will be truly interesting how this will translate into an MMO next year when it comes out.

By now everyone knows that Ghibli studios made a game called Ni No Kuni:  Wrath of the White Witch.  It seems like another J-RPG, so if you're a fan of Miyazaki and JRPGs this is a game to look into and Ghibli being known for it's stories will not fail us.  This comes out early next year.  It has taken a long time to localize this game as they try hard to make the dialog and story fit English speaking countries such as ours.

Yandere

This is a new word to me. The Japanese word Yandere refers to a person that is seeming nice at first, but is a complete psycho. Or someone that is completely obsessed with someone that they can be quite violent.

My first thought that came to mind when I heard this was Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni or When They Cry. That anime is straight up crazy. Nearly every main character in each alternative story arc ends up killing someone in the sickest most sadistic ways.

*SPOILER alert*

Another would be School Days. The two girls are Yandere to the max. The guy cheats on these girls and one girls stand him to death. The other confronts her, cuts her open and she the takes his head and cuddles with it on a boat.

To a smaller extreme there is Kaede from Shuffle. This girl has jealousy issues she did something she regrets to her cousin when she was a kid and yes it was a psycho moment. Later in her life she loves him, but only because she's so sorry for it. But her love turns to obsession and she attacks the friend of his that later becomes his girlfriend. She shoved her into a wall hard and yelled at her to get out and give him back to her. Her eyes screamed psycho. Din't get me wrong. She's really not a bad person, but she's very mentally unstable. She's the lesser extreme of yandere.

Men can be yandere, too, but I can't think of any that I have seen. Anyways, yandere. Crazy stuff. :)

This Is What Corporations Do.

Ok, you see when a company is in the red, what they do is they look at all the companies that have some reaction to them and they see what products they have and blindly try to find something to sue them for and cross their fingers hoping that they find a four leaf clover and they roll their lucky dice hoping against hope that they will get a lot of money.

This is not fiction!  This is reality!  They abuse the law in their favor, because our American legal system lets them do it.  No common sense is involved.  Just a giant book of laws.

Laws shmaws!  Common sense overrides any law that is in place.  With that said let's talk about the possibility or should I say impossibility of the banning of the XBox 360 in the U.S.

So, Motorola is losing money, so they spot a victim known as Microsoft and they go after their system XBox 360 specifically.  Now what's the basis for the sue.  They (Microsoft) is using video codecs that Motorola owns patents to.  Ok, but they clearly put these codecs out for everyone to use as fair use.  Millions of people use them everyday.  Companies use them everyday with no repercussions.  And why don't they go after them? Because it's free to use and many of them don't have as much money as the big MS.

So now a judge that has the knowledge of the book of U.S. laws says, "Ok, lets throw away common sense.  Let's just forget for a second that there's an implied 'fair use' in these codecs.  And then we can have this violence box banned from the U.S.  That way we won't have hooligans in the streets ripping each others spines out on the street."

Ok, so this is what the judge recommends.  Ban the Xbox 360.  Don't just ask MS to pay some money to a greedy company, but ban a product outright.  A system that has been out for years and APPARENTLY flew under Motorola's blind ass radar several years ago.  That's another big deal.  Why the hell would a company wait years knowing something and then suddenly sue.  $$$$$$$$  That's why!  Corporate outright greed!  And the law is blind to this outrage!  It's completely blind to the fact that most companies that sue other companies do it for no other reason than, because they want someone else's hard earned cash.  Why is it soooooo hard for our stupid ass government to see and do something about these stupid situations?

WHATEVER!  You know what?  The he** with it!  Why don't we all become legal thieves!  Everyone's doing it!

Online Dating

Soooo, I'm getting rather lonely.  Well I have been.  I'm not getting any worse.  Maybe I've gotten to the point where I know that online is the only place I really get to know new people.  So I'm trying online dating.  I've had a profile in several places.  Free like Plenty of Fish and OKCupid, but they don't work for me, because there aren't many people around here on it.  So I actually tried Zoosk.  That has many more.  I've searched through and sent quite a few winks or messages.  No response yet, but it hasn't been quite a week yet, but I feel lost there, too, because although there are plenty of good looking girls on there, I don't see messages coming back to me and I already have a bad idea as to how it would go.  I feel that it's been a wasted effort.  A big gamble spending money on something like this.  Really this is the only place I can find people near me that I'd date or would date me, if that is even a possibility.

I think What I'm going to do is cancel my membership there within a month and see what happens.  If there are any private messages sent to me while I'm gone I'll know, but I'll have to pay to see them.  Perhaps that's the plan.  Or try yet another site that's popular.

What do you think?  Have you tried it?  Is it any good?  If I don't get out much, then where else can I look?

Tim & Eric's Billion Dollar Mehvie

Yeah, I said it. Meh-vie. Don't get me wrong. I love Tim & Eric's humor and parts of this really were funny.

For those that don't know Tim and Eric. There a close comedy duo usually seen in Cartoon Network's Adult Swim programming block. Their sketches include old 80s style commercials, cable access like programming and various other abstract comedy.

It's hard to really tell you much more about their comedy, because it's so bizarre and abstract. In fact only certain types of people love their goofy sense of humor like I do.

Spoilers ahead possibly. If you like Tim and Eric chances are, like me, you'll watch it anyway. It's them being what they are known for.

That being said and this being a full uncensored R rated film Tim and Eric go all out and let loose. This often ends up being hilariously stupid and even disgustingly funny. However some parts, for me, went into disgusting areas that were a hair too much for me. I'll try to keep this from being too descriptive, but there's a poop scene, a sex scene and piercing scene that over did it for me.

I kind of noted that this seemed a little like it was influenced by Weird Al's movie "UHF." Tim and Eric try taking over and making an old mall better again. Hmmm. Sounds like when Al tried to bring an old UHF station back from the dead. Of course if you've ever seen a Tim and Eric show, you'll know that Al makes an appearance once in a while.

I hope Tim and Eric go back to doing Adult Swim. Their show is much better there.

International Day Against DRM

Spread the word.  The music world has won the war against DRM already, but it doesn't have to stop there.

DRM, for those that do not know is a form of copy protection designed to work only on devices registered by the seller of the media.  Sounds good for those that want to prevent piracy.  In fact outside of that you may feel ok with it as you may not plan to use the media you bought on anything else.  Here's where the problem lies.  eReaders can't read all e-books.  Why?  Because if you buy an e-book on Amazon, you'll need a Kindle or a Kindle compatible device like an iPhone or Android phone with a kindle app.  So they might have this great book you want on your Nook that you bought from Barns & Noble.  Trouble is that it's on Amazon.  Uh-oh.  Now you need a Kindle.

But that's not a problem for me personally.  Here's another predicament.  Let's say I finally give up on the DVD format.  In fact I know a few shows that should have been on DVD long ago, but the problem is that it's only available on iTunes, which carries DRM.  So you might tell me to just watch it on my computer.  WHY?  I'd MUCH rather sit in my recliner to watch the show.  I have a Playstation 3.  Ok, why not just stream it through my network from my computer to my PS3.  That doesn't solve anything.  I've tried doing it once.  I'm a techy, if you haven't guessed.  Why doesn't it work.  I have no idea.  I follow the directions.  To be quite honest most people don't even have the knowledge and skill to do it, if it even worked.  Well, there goes that plan.  If I want the series then I must watch it on my computer.  Oh, so maybe I can stream it with the new Amazon application on PS3.  Well, I wish I could.  Netflix works just fine over our internet line, but does Amazon?  Well, I have had a few free bucks to spend that was meant only for video purchases.  I got these from buying something else on their site.  Well I got The Dark Knight and Se7en.  Two great movies.  I tried streaming them through DSL just like Netflix.  It pauses to buffer after not even a minute.  We have a weak internet connection here.  As for why Netflix works most of the time and Amazon always fails.  Who knows.  Their speed requirements are exactly the same.

We SHOULD be able to freely copy these videos to a disk just to play them wherever and whenever.  This entire copy protection they call DRM doesn't just cripple our rights, but it makes things so convoluted that who's going to buy electronic media?  I don't.  I'm still buying DVDs and Blu-rays.  I guess I'll do without some of these great shows that are only available through electronic means.  If you want my money corporate America.  You damn well better earn it.  Till then, you aren't getting one red cent from some crippled video file you sell. 

Cyberbu//y

I just watched Cyberbully on Netflix. It kind of made me feel angry to watch. Everyone should watch this. I know there are going to be a lot of people after seeing it that think they are "bad ass.". It's kind of sickening, those people. They don't even realize that they are destroying themselves by bullying.

I've got a little righteous anger pouring out of my soul so allow me to take this time to address those with the "bad ass" or dumbass mentality.

Here's the thing. You are succumbing to the devil inside you. You've got this feeling that what you are doing is right for you. You are selfish. You think of your own ends. But what really happens in the end?

"Oh, it won't blow up in my face. Watch. See it didn't."

:) I'll keep watching. Watch your back. So one incident didn't hurt you. What about the next or the one after that? Your attitude towards others makes you keep doing it. Your experience makes you think your invincible. That's where my little snerk comes in. You build yourself up to believe you're ok, so you keep the stupid stuff up. And the. You fall. You fall so hard that you can't get up again.

But what do I know, right? I'm just a goody good that does nothing wrong. You see me and your jealous. You won't admit it, but your jealous. You have gotten beaten and scarred in fights. Word gets round, ya know. I don't say anything. You want to be like me or maybe not. I've got a good soul. Something you wish you had. But that's what you see.

I messed up a lot. We all do. Stop being so stupid an pick yourself up, bully. You can have all that I do, not that it's as much as it seems. Clean up your act. Talk to people. I'm not saying go to church or go see a therapist. I'm saying just to talk to people and ask them questions.

You may just find out more about yourself.

I Yam What I Yam

Popeye always said "I yam what I yam." That's all there is to it. We've all heard the lines about being ourselves over an over. It never really sinks into people till later in life and with some people much later.

A lot of things just don't stick into anyone. People stigmatize everyone. And then the one being stigmatized thinks there's no choice, but to be someone else and that never works either. It's too much work. Sure we can change a few things if necessary, but you still have to be you.

The jerks of this world seem to forget every time that everyone's different. Everyone has to be like him/her to even exist. It's like they're saying there's only one right way to be. Well, that doesn't work out, because the next person on his case has to tell him he has to be a certain way.

The only way to be is your way. Don't force yours on someone else. What does that do in the end? Either nothing or a false representation of the person you're shoving around.

I'm not claiming you have to be a certain way here. It's just the only thing that has to change and that's to quit complaining, because someone else doesn't live the way you do.

Aspies and One Way Thinking

I'll admit I can be quite illogical when I'm mad. When a computer or game gets me upset, I can proclaim that I alone am it's lord and master and that it should do what I make it do. Well that seems sort of logical right? I mean you push the buttons and move the mouse, right? Logic would then tell you that by virtue of the fact that when button 1 is pushed a programmed response to button 1 should therefore occur.

So therefore by simple logic, what I input should always come out right?

Wrong. This is a fallacy. And even now I am getting peeved by my iPhone for correcting my typing errors. I'm making so many mistakes when typing here.

Aha. That's it, right? I'm making the mistakes. I'm the one making false claims that I am perfect. But of course I'm not perfect. How can anyone claim that they are?

Well, here's my problem. A long line of "you're wrong"s and a whole lot of bull fed to me by NTs that I don't act like a normal person would. What is that supposed to mean? That everyone of those saying that is perfect? Please. It's just them throwing their judgement onto me, because they erred in some way, too.

Back on subject, since i am not perfect then then logically nothing else is, too. How can a computer make a mistake, though. Well in a way of speaking, it doesn't. Something is forcing it mess up if, in fact, it is messing up and I am not. Faulty programming? Worn out part? Damaged part? Name the reason. If it clearly isn't me, then it's one of those and I must be able to eliminate me from the equation before I can go any further.

So when I lose at a game, clearly it's usually my fault and I just don't live up to those gamers that I see as average when they might actually be more like pros.

The other thing is that I must accept that things break down or going wonky at times, because of what may be wrong with it at the time.

It's a hard thing for an aspie that is used to a strict one way street that we stick to. We hate it when things obstruct our path. Like I said, we stick to a one way street, us aspies. We don't see detours. We don't see forks in the road. We see one way and sometimes it's got rocks or boulders in the way.

Taboo Words...Why are some of them taboo?

I've had some questions linger in my head.  Things I don't understand.  Some people insist that in no way is there a reason to use certain words.  Other say a little mild "language" is necessary at times.  Me?  I don't really get why many of them are really that bad or taboo to say.

I'm going to censor myself here for the sake of being respectable to those offended.  That's my stance on it.  Don't use it around people who don't like it.  That's responsible and respectful to not offend.

"Da** it."  Ok, so what is wrong with this word or phrase.  Well, it's suggesting that one should send 'target' to he**.  Ok, I suppose that's bad if you saying "Da** you" to someone.  Even "Darn you" would be bad as "darn is nothing more than skirting around the other word.  But just blaring our "Da**" or "Da** it" is just a way of expressing anger towards some thing or some situation.  Why is this bad?  That I cannot answer.  Surely it'd be better not to be angry, but saying that doesn't change the fact that you're angry.  It's just sort of a burst or release of anger.  Maybe people should say it more often.  I tend to think people are a little too conservative as they think that saying that word could lead to unfair or misdirected anger at a person.  Maybe that's what it is.  Either way, though.  I think it's just find to blurt out "da**" when you hit your thumb with a hammer.

"He**" or "What the he**."  He** is a bad place.  No doubt.  Surely saying "Go to he**" is vary inappropriate and damaging.  But is blurting out "what the he**" that bad?  Your direction isn't towards a person, but maybe an action or situation.  The context of the word is not directly speaking of he** as in the place.  It's merely a strong reaction to something.  Again many will argue that the use would lead to saying something against a person, but it's one's own fault if they direct it at a person or use it in such a way to hurt someone else.  Don't put the blame on the word, but on the way it is used.

"Fu**."  Ok, so this word is offensive for an obvious reason as it is meant to be used as a lustful term for sex or fornication.  Many would find this offensive.  Agreeable?  But what about some of it's other uses that are not said in the context of sex?   For instance "what the fu**?"  Same deal as "what the he**."  They do not directly address their original meaning.  Another use of the word is to be avoided.  "Fu** you," for instance, is used to insult or throw anger at a person or people.  Simply don't use it like that.

"Sh**."  Another word and by the way what about "crap?"  Does it not mean the same thing.  Ok, so one is offensive and 'vulgar,' but the other is not.  Bullsh**.  It has the same meaning.  It refers to fecal matter.  Fecal matter is nothing more than the waste product of a person or animal.  What's so offensive about it.  It's a natural byproduct.  And again it has the same meaning as crap.  They're two words that mean exactly the same thing.  What's the problem here?

Those are the main ones that I wanted to touch upon.  There are many other words, too, but there's no point in talking about them.

What about movies?  Are they really necessary in movies.  Maybe, maybe not.  I think it just shows what kind of character the people portrayed in the movie are like.  Maybe they're the kind that swear a lot or cuss each other out.  So is this bad to put it in a movie?  Well, movies are violent sometimes and given the right context these movies are in as violence always seen as bad in the real world.  Why should it be any different to have someone in a movie swear at someone else in anger?  Do these things carry on from the movie to the real world?  Only if you weren't brought up better than that.  Movies are not influences.  It's your friends and family and the people you are close to that are your influences.

I happen to believe that works of fiction need to use what they can, because they reflect how our world is.  Film reflects real life many times.  It's never the other way around.

But feel free to make an argument against these things.  I likely won't take too much consideration as I've already made up my mind, but at least you can give me your reasons why not to use these words.  Personally to me it's all context and target.  And also not saying it around people that would be offended.  Otherwise use them if you like.  I don't see why they're harmful in certain contexts.

Old 16-bit Era RPGs

You have to admit RPGs aren't like they used to be.  I like a lot of the new ones.  They're great, but there are a lot of old ones that I never got around to playing.  8-bit, 16-bit, and even some of the 32-bit generation games.  Turn based RPGs may be a thing of the past.  Though, they may come back in new forms like console or even windows downloads, it's great to check them out all over again.  I never did get to really play many of the old Final Fantasies of the 16-bit days.  I'm reliving that with Final Fantasy 5.  I want to get 6, too eventually.  Another game I'm playing on my 3DS is the DS version of Chrono Trigger.  Both of these old RPGs are bringing me back.

There are so many, I could probably play them for a long time to come.  I could never finish them all while keeping up with the new.  Yeah.  There's enough to last me a lifetime, now.  Secret of Mana, though action oriented, is an RPG that I'd truly like to get into again as well.  Also there is Secret of Evermore.  I haven't checked, but I'm hoping that I can get that as a Wii download.

The Phantasy Star series is another series I'd love to take a stab at.  I did beat the third one and as a matter of fact I have that and the fourth installment on Sonic's Ultimate Genesis Collection for my PS3.  Don't forget the Dragon Quest series as well.  I remember the first one, known as Dragon Warrior, and there have been many since then.  Wow.  Just thinking of all of them that I could play, makes my head explode.

If your into all this RPG nostalgia your best bet is to get a DS or 3DS and play many that were ported onto the DS.  Or get them on the Wii.  Nintendo's got many.  Even the Playstation Network has some old ones that were previously ported to the Playstation 1.

Don't forget to save your game.

Disabled or Not Able By Employer Standards?

I've struggled wit this little question for a while now.  Am I disabled or is it just the view of all the employers I've had that I don't work up to their standards, whatever that is?  Every job I've had for the most part has had the employer let me go before my diagnosis for reasons I couldn't see up till now.  The last one, I can see the problem more clearly and others in the past, not so much.  "You're not working up to our standards," seems to be the basic reason that it comes down to.

I had a job that was unfortunately only going to be a temp job anyway.  In this job I was more or less running this easy peasy software that allowed me to scan in accounting records for (unnamed company), because they were in legal trouble.  The documents, as far as I could tell, went in without a hitch and even a few around me said they could believe they were getting paid so much for this job, because it was easy.  So why did they let me go?  It was easy, right?  I certainly thought it was.  But here comes that bare bones answer.  "You weren't working up to our standards."  Could they be any less clear?  I didn't even think to ask them why and I don't know if it would have mattered anyway.  I was let go and that was that.

Some things do restrict me.  Working at a grocery store was a bad move.  I worked there awhile till the sensory overload got the better of me and I kept telling myself at the end that I wasn't giving up, but they asked me to quit, but there's where I knew why.  It's a social job that I was doing or rather wasn't doing very well at.  I certainly wasn't the man for the job.

So what about other jobs.  What made me so bad that I couldn't scan simple documents?  I can see some of my disabilities, but surely I can have a job doing something and make a simple living.  I know I can.  First there are so few jobs that I can take advantage of around here, so that makes one thing difficult and the other thing I kind of question whether society has something to do with it.  Yes, an employer must, if they can, accommodate for you once hired, if hired.  But I would need some assistance to get into these jobs.  Also a lot of jobs, if I'm not mistaken, need to have at least a couple disabled people to show they are accommodating.

One part of society looks down on me saying "Get a job!"   And then there's the employers of America saying "You don't work to our standards."  What a dilemma.  Society can see that I can work.  I can see my strengths and weaknesses.  But employers just look at potential employees and are very critical.  You just can't win in the job world when it comes to having Aspergers.

So, what is it?  Neurodiverse minded people say it's our society's fault and we are not disabled.  While the other people, and I sit in the middle wondering, say they are disabled, because we have weaknesses.

Started Skyrim Again

So my computer is working as it should again for the most part.  Not worry about anything else.  All the programs are on it that should be, pics, mp3s, videos, etc.

So I'm playing Skyrim again.  I started 2 weeks after mostly fixing the problem.  I'm really enjoying the game again.  I'm taking it into the right direction.  Trying to keep my path in the game mostly ethical.  I'm not joining "The Dark Brotherhood" or "The Thieves Guild."  Some areas of the game are kinda in the grey area.  Like you need to become a werewolf to fully become one of the companions.  I can cure myself later, if I want, but there's really no bad thing about being a werewolf on the game really.  There's fear among the people, so I better not either use the power or change while a guard or someone else is looking.  But really when you become a werewolf, as long as you don't murder any innocents or do anything really bad, there's no real serious ethical issue.

But that's kind of how I play.  I try to keep on the straight and narrow, but there really are a lot of grey areas in the game's ethics.

I wasn't going to start doing alchemy, but at some point, after having picked up so many random ingredients, I thought I'd just fiddle with it and it's really interesting and fun.  So I'm actually crafting and enhancing and enchanting weapons and armor and that's a great part of the game.  It may seem dull to do to some people, but you need to break up the monotony of doing all those missions to some degree.  And it's the outcome of crafting that makes things in the game so fun.  That sense of accomplishment in it.

I'm so happy I've got a computer that can play the game as well as it does.  There's a enhanced graphics DLC for free that I can get, but it's not suggested unless your computer's specs all exceed the recommendations (note: not requirements) by a good degree.  If I had a better video card, I'd consider it.  I think it's fine as it is, though.

This game is going to last me a long time.  I haven't gotten far enough into it to marry anyone, but I plan on doing that, too.  I've furnished my first house in Whiterun.  It doesn't look like messy crap anymore.  Keeping my weapons and etc in a trunk, so I can enchant them later.  I think I will greatly enjoy Skyrim.

High Anxiety Levels

A lot of aspies don't get super anxious like me.  When they do it passes quicker.  I have a few anxieties and my biggest one has to do with my computers or mostly my main one.

I backup everything in more than one place, whether it be in the cloud like iTunes or on a separate hard drive.  So, why worry, they're not going to all go out at once.  Pfffft.  Of course not.  Even game saves get backed up.  Computer....Steam cloud.  Playstation....Playstation+.  What do I have to worry about?  So my computer may have to be fixed.  And it was finally over the past few days.  For the most part anyway.

So when something goes wrong enough with it that I feel I have to take the drastic measure of erasing my main drive and reinstalling everything, my anxiety shoots through the roof.  I worry about my backups.  I worry that it won't get fixed.  But why?  What's the worst that can happen?  I have backups.  I have a desktop and a laptop. I lose one and I have another temporarily.  (Can't play Skyrim on my laptop, of course...)  I don't have a lot of money, but what I do have are the skills to fix a computer.  I just hate fixing my own.

It's my aspie attachment to computers that kind of does it.  I worry so much when my electronics decide to give.  Even my iPhone (which I plan on stopping service on and switch to a pre-pay and use the iPhone as an iPod touch).

So, what do I do.  I'm learning that meditation and music for several minutes at a time is great relief, but I still need to learn when to use it and how long.  I also need to learn to redirect my thoughts when meditating.  I can't imagine clearing my mind like some say they do during meditation.  That's sort of an impossibility.  My mind is always on something.

Ranma 1/2 Live Action?

I guess I'm a little late at finding out about this since this was reported on ANN last year and the movie aired on Japanese TV in December.  But of course no word on an American release just yet.  That didn't stop me from finding a subbed version, not that I am endorsing using torrent sites or anything. >.>

Anyways, I've been getting back into Ranma 1/2 in the last few months and just started watching the show from the beginning, not long ago.  The thought occurred to me "What if this was live action?  What would it be like?"  And I just typed in "Ranma Live Action" into Youtube, not expecting much more than a fan made short.  Boy was I surprised to learn that one existed and was just shown in December.  What a coincidence.

Most of it is pretty much what you'd expect from Ranma, but there are some changes along the way that I was kind of fine with.  These changes weren't anything drastic and didn't change the characters much.  They still behaved in much the same way as always.  I think the biggest complaint would be the lack of Ryoga Hibiki, Shampoo, Ukyou (my personal favorite), and other side characters.  The ones they did include were Dr. Tofu, who is pretty much the school doctor as opposed to a regular doctor.  And of course we have Kuno (nothing different about him here).  There's also the character Gosunkugi.  He is not one I'm all that familiar with.

I've never seen all of the Ranma series before.  Previously the most I've seen were, at first, random episodes scattered through maybe 3 seasons and then there's the first whole season that my brother picked up on DVD quite a while back and now I have my own copy.

All in all, if you are a die hard fan maybe you'd prefer skipping it, if you're really nit picky about changes, but since this doesn't change anything drastic, I don't think most fans will mind.  It's still the same Ranma...just with real people.  So, if you wondered what it would be like as a live action movie, then definitely check into it....but um, try to avoid torrent sites.  Wait for the American release, if and when it gets here. =P

Can't Explain...

Are you an aspie that can't explain things very well or even worse can't do it especially when under pressure? Yeah. That's how I feel a good part of the time. It makes you look ignorant and feel stupid and then all these emotions come in to play.

Well, you're not alone. Believe me. You are not ignorant or stupid. You know exactly what you're talking about, even if others don't. You know why you think a certain way and why you feel a certain way about things around you. You just don't know how to put it in words others will understand. It's frustrating. I know. The best you can hope for is that someone else can help you or they find out some other way. Or just don't worry about it. Besides the same thing can go for NTs at times, too, just less often. People get stuck thinking about their side of things and forget that there are other ways of looking at things. It's kind of undignified. But that's peoold for you.

So just remember that they're about as ignorant as you are. No one knows the answer to everything. You know your logic, sondon't let people tell you you're not making any sense. Because in your mind, you know what you were trying to get across.

Initial Impressions of Windows 8 Consumer Preview (Beta)

Ok, so now we have the beta version, which is a full version of Windows 8, but still possibly buggy.  I have yet to run into any bugs myself, but that could be me.  There hasn't really been anything that hasn't worked on here, save for a few programs I tried for multiple IM clients that would not install.  So basically nothing completely wrong with it, thus far, but I expect there are going to be some bumps along the way since it is, in fact, a beta.

The interface is kind of clunky.  The settings are in two different places.  You've got all your main settings on the desktop screen and then you've got more generalized settings that sum up the experience of the Windows 8 start menu.  Using corners to travel to different parts of the OS seems a bit odd, especially if you're using a touchpad, like on my laptop.  Turning the computer off or restarting it has you going to one corner, clicking settings and then clicking power.  Most people won't think to go to settings to look for a shutdown.  That's not a logical place for most people.  I can't explain everything about it that makes it feel clunky and clumsy, but I think I got the just of it.

Shutdown Part 1

Shutdown Part 2

Start Settings

Comprehensive Settings

The desktop screen where your previous software will run in a window doesn't match the new feel that the interface for future programs are supposed to use in the future, so that makes it feel a little odd.  Programs will generally run full screen, instead of a true window in the future.  This is actually quite nice, but again this kind of mixes up the experience with older software, though most will likely update to a new look.  Updates for your contacts, messages, and weather, are a welcome addition that will be greatly used in the future.  IMs will be great when updated for the new look.

All in all there isn't much else to say about it at this time, but I will keep up to date.

Starting a Small Self-employed Business

So I've started plans on building my own computers and selling them on eBay.  Well, that's been changing.  I need to contact Social Security on how to go about this.  I know that they will accommodate you in some ways. My plans have stopped about eBay and gone to a more local idea.  I may put an ad in places, so if anyone close to me wants a computer custom built by me, I can offer them one built with quality parts like Asus, XFX, Samsung, or MSI, as opposed to some of the cheap parts they use in Dells or other such places where they use cheap motherboards or video cards.  The motherboards and power supplies seem to be where they go cheap and fail on customers.  Not to say that some of mine won't fail, but chances will be lower and they will work more effectively and efficiently.  The parts that fail can easily be replaced at almost zero cost to me, because of the warranties on them.

Anyways there will be a seminar where I plan to ask some questions on how to get started.  I need to understand tax laws, resources, and software available to me and how to use it for my business.  Also business licenses.  I don't know if I'll manage to make a living on this alone.  In fact it's probably likely that I'll still need SSD in addition.

But this is more a passion project than a way to make money.  Money is sort of secondary to this.  I love putting these things together and touching the components.

Because I Care!

This is a little more for non-aspies than it is for you aspies out there, but please read and pass this along to anyone that is NT, such as your friends and family who don't understand autism.  Another note is that I may actually get a little angry in this post or rather post about times where I was angry.

Anyways, for the longest I can remember I've always hated confrontation.  I hated it with a passion.  I can't deal with it even now.  When more than one person in my vicinity, even if I swear to God that I hate their guts, if I hear people getting real loud and riled up about something.  I either bottle it up and let loose later or I try to bottle it up, but then explode when it gets to be too much.  In High School, I was called psycho for my emotional outburst or rage attacks, usually that's because I was being picked on, but that's another story all together.  There were times when I would defend a friend or even if the two weren't even close to me I'd just blatantly shout "SHUT THE F*** UP!"  I've been known to do this defending a friend who was picked on to which a bully would say it's none of my business and to this day I want to say "Like he** it ain't!  This is my friend!  Show some f***ing respect!"

I've wanted to hit a bully and there were a couple instances where I have.  I care that they be right.  And now I wish I could tell them that I wanted to hit them, because I cared a great deal about them.  They may think I hate them.  I may even think I hate my enemies.  But I've wanted to hit them and show them and scream at them about how wrong they were simply because I actually give a crap about them.  I actually have the shred of decency to love them.  I don't care what others think just for me, but for their own sake.  It's not just because I felt weak against their hate (admittedly that was some of it).  It's because I cared enough to teach them what I truly believed.

So, yeah, I can not handle people being mean.  I can't handle people fighting, even if both of them are wrong. I can't stand it!  Right now, we have a male cat in the house that hasn't been fixed yet and he's a big bully.  I hear him attacking mainly a certain one and that one that he goes after is the most vocal of all.  You hear "REOW" and a hiss or two and some tumbling and that throws my anxiety all helter skelter.  I just want to pop some Xanax pills and just mellow, but I'm more likely to forget my pills, so don't worry.  I'm not the type to get addicted.  I'm just saying that's how I feel.

I could make a list of what upsets me, but there is one other thing that gets me that shows how much I actually care about people in general.  I hate haters.  I hate hypocrites.  And I hate backwards thinkers.  These people are trying to pull back progress that our world is making towards tolerance and love.  We are becoming a more well balanced society by being more understanding or accepting of people.  Just think, a long time ago it would have been unimaginable to have a black president.  We are allowing gays to get married.  The list goes on.  And even though it's inevitable that this change continues and that love will be bigger someday, there are still those monsters that want them all to die or to change, when you know darn well they can't.

So when someone asks me "Why do you care?" to my face when I get into a rage attack from all the stimulation confrontations cause even though I'm not even a part of it, I can only tell them it's because I love every cell in everyone's insignificant little bodies.  Yes, I care!  I either don't show it or I have a funny way of doing it, but I care very much.  Yes, I keep to myself.  Yes I like to spend time alone more than be with people.  I love "people time."  Even an aspergian like me needs time with people.  But I actually care a lot more than what I am comfortable showing.  It's a messy feeling.

Aspies aren't very comfortable showing affection necessarily and, like me, many are not comfortable to say that they care or show it.  It's all an over stimulation thing, but we care.  We care a great deal and this story only proves it and if not to you, but to me it certainly does.

So, What Do You Want To See In The Next "Assassin's Creed" game?

I received a survey from one of those typical "do this survey and get money" type things I'm signed up for.  Those services aren't much, but when you want some extra cash on hand and you don't make much, it can be worth my spare time.  Anyways, I got this survey and they asked the typical questions, this one being about video games.  It went on about asking if you've heard of certain titles and whether you have or enjoy them and I got to the point where they started asking specifically about "Assassin's Creed:  Revelations."  Of course I gave all my opinions on it.

But here's where it get's interesting.  They gave this list, and to choose three, of what world eras and locations people would like to explore in the next game.  Here's the list:

Assassin’s Creed survey lists possible settings for future titles

Of course I chose Feudal Japan as my high interest.  Victorian England was another.  I can't remember what my third one was, but rest assured it seems Ubisoft is making another "Assassin's Creed" game that I'm sure I'll buy.  It looks to me that it would be in early development and not coming out this year.  Maybe next year?

Anyway, if it ends up being Feudal Japan could there be ninjas?  Would that change some of the play mechanics?  Weapons would no doubt be different.  You'd need to be in the dark a good part of the time instead of out in the open, just hiding among the people.

So what do you think should be in the next Assassin's Creed game?

Behind Your Back

One thing that perplexes me a little bit about the behavior of Neurotypicals is their ability to be totally different people from one moment to the next.  I've seen people act real pleasant and nice to someone and then, the next day gripe about them in such a way that they don't even want them around.

Ok, so you're really nice to this person and you talk to them and exchange a lot of pleasant words to them, but you secretly hate their guts?  If it were me and I didn't like the person, I'd probably either avoid them or talk like I was in a hurry and didn't really want their company at the moment.  I wouldn't just be so sweet and nice and chipper.  I'd be indifferent.  And If disliked them bad enough, I'd be honest with them and that I didn't want to talk to them and then just tell them to back off and just avoid them.  I don't know.  I just don't see the point in pretending, not that I can.  If I don't like you, then you're going to know it.  If I'm neutral, you may not know anything.  But I'm simply observing people blatantly acting the opposite of how they feel about someone towards that person.

And then there are people that talk about you behind your back.  I honestly don't know what people say behind my back and I'm pretty sure I like it that way, but somehow people talk and say bad things about another person behind their back.  It's kind of cool by me that if you don't like someone, you can say it to someone else.  And if you're going to say something about someone, it should at least be confirmed truth.  I'd much prefer to say "This is what I'm hearing, but don't take it as truth," but we all know where that will go anyway, so might as well not even do that much.  I pretty much avoid saying to someone, "Oh, this person said that about you."  This is actually something I've done before when I didn't know any better.  Say like I'm trying to be like everyone else.  Well, I don't do that now and you end up being the one yelled at anyway, so might as well just "zip it."  Anyways, I hear person A talk to person B about person C and then another day person C might talk trash about person A, also with Person C and person C won't be neutral when discussing it.  It's sort of like "I know!" and then go on to say something else about A or C.  I've personally been talked to about someone I know that I get along with.  I don't just go "I know it!" and then say something I don't like about the person.  I simply nod like "Yeah, whatever."  I shrug it off like I don't care or I'm not really listening.

I see the middle person getting into more trouble when they indulging the other person that's talking about someone behind their back.  I mean, you kind of get to the point where you run the risk of being the friend of neither one.  That's how I see it.  But these two things are what I see NTs doing that I don't fully understand.  Especially the first one.  I guess since aspies are generally authentic, they don't have to pretend they like someone real well.  They either put up with them and don't say a word or they are consistent enough to avoid the person or shrug them off when being talked to by them, while complaining to someone else about them.  We don't really try to wear a mask and play make believe.  It's a hard social game that we can't invest our energy in.

Will the "Wii U" Be Able to Compete?

It seems evident that the "Wii U," as it's still called (name change eminent), has the power comparable to that of the current systems or only a little better.

We all saw how well the Wii was selling when it first came out and how Nintendo was doing well, because it and some other publishers were putting out good games for it.  The problem was that it was primarily Nintendo putting out the good titles and other publishers were slipping away.  Either the games from other publishers got worse or Nintendo couldn't keep up game quality.

Either way, you have to admit that part of it's early success was it's brand new control scheme and orientation around family gaming as well as classic gaming.  But publishers didn't want to make more games for it that were good, because all their focus was on games for systems pumping out better graphics, physics, and general game play that would require more horse power.  It's not the the system wasn't good.  It seemed to be that Nintendo should have kept up their system horse power, while developing the new motion control system.  This would have made the system more expensive, but how much more than the other systems.  Maybe not so much.  Maybe they should have kept up.

But you can't argue that the system was initially successful.  All of the same goes for the 3DS.  Sure their games are fun, but how much longer can the fun last?  Again Nintendo developed a system to have glasses free 3d, but only making it as powerful as that of say a Playstation 2.  Maybe better, maybe the same.

With the "Wii U" being only as powerful or maybe only a little more powerful as the current, but aging systems, how long will this system keep up, once a new XBox or new Playstation come out?  I think a lot of ports of current games will be on it, but this will not drive sales at all, as most people have the current gen systems already.  Why buy a "Wii U" if your Ps3 or 360 can already play that?

New controls will drive the system a little, but other publishers will need to make good use of the new controls, otherwise people are going to say "Big whoop.  My 360 can play that game without a screen on it's controller."

So Nintendo.  I wish you luck.  I do have faith in you, but it's not a lot.  I know graphics don't make games, I know real life physics don't make games, but you need to compete.  If you put everything all on these new controls, people and publishers are going to be confused as to what to do with them.  You're going to have to make a system that can stand up powerful enough and demonstrate to everyone why your system is so great.

You Speak and You Will Be Heard

I know I said that I knew SOPA and PIPA would not pass.  The obvious reason that is is that the language of the act was ambiguous and aloud copyright holders to go to the courts and immediately shut down a site such as "You Tube," ultimately censor the internet all together, so others couldn't upload their content.

Anyways, before people like me spoke up, wrote on a blog, and signed a petition on "Google," the laws didn't pass.  You can sit back and say it won't pass to yourself and have complete faith that something so ridiculous won't happen, but unless you speak up nothing will change.  People spoke and the government listened.  We were heard.  People held up signs.  People like me signed a petition at Google.  Sites blacked out for 24 hours.  Most sites put something on their front page to inform you of these acts.

My point is that you can sit in your chair and think you're okay and you may be right, but what if you aren't?   What if everyone said "Okay, this is ridiculous.  That will never happen to us." and they just laid back and watched, because they had complete faith it won't happen?  My adivce is "Don't."  Because if you don't yell at the top of your lungs that you don't like what our government is about to do, then something you think won't happen, may actually happen.  You don't know.  You could be wrong.  You'd be surprised.  Your rights could be taken away, but because we have the right to voice our opinion, that's exactly what we need to do.

So everyone, Google, Wikipedia, protesters, Newt, Mitt, congress, Obama and the country as a whole, thank you for speaking your mind and being true to your freedom.