I apologize for the slow updates. You see along with my AS, I have anxiety. I take klonopin as one of medications. This has been a great relief for me for quite a while, however now this med has become a problem.
For the last few months I've had problems with the physical symptoms of anxiety. Also I have had some short mental anxiety issues. I've become lethargic. I am on the max dosage of klonopin (4mg throughout the day.).
The lethargic part is making my brain not work so well, so I have had no idea what to write about. This is all I can think of.
I may need to ween off of the med and that will be rough. I feel like I have a physical dependency to it and since it's not working right anymore that is what I will have to do.
I'll try harder in the future to write once a week.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Monday, June 20, 2011
Emotional Anime and Being an Aspie
I've been drawn to emotional animes for quite awhile and now I think I know why. They make me cry and they make me feel emotions that I don't otherwise get. I believe what I'm unfortunately doing when watching drama animes like Clannad, Air, and Kannon is replacing people and feelings with something that I can more closely hang onto, since it is so hard for me to get close to anyone. This makes me kind of sad sometimes. I desperately want to have at least one offline close friendship, heck I want to go as far as having a girlfriend, but I really don't see that happening. I'm not able to get close to people without the internet, even online as many friends as I have I only have one close friendship there, I don't know how well that'd translate if I ever met him off the net and it's not that I'm afraid. I'm not. But without a means to meet people that I can really relate to, like the internet, I wouldn't have the friend or even friends I have now. I just wish there was someone close by that I wasn't afraid to get close to, that shared the same interests, feelings and everything.
Now as far as the girlfriend thing goes, I'm kind of picky. I'm stuck on looks. She doesn't have to look perfect, but I do have a problem getting past looks no matter what. It kind of makes me feel shallow, but I know that's not entirely true, because even if I found a person attractive looking, if they aren't enough like me, I wouldn't be able to form a relationship.
Anyways, I like my emotional animes and I guess I like them, because I experience feelings that I have a hard time otherwise feeling.
Now as far as the girlfriend thing goes, I'm kind of picky. I'm stuck on looks. She doesn't have to look perfect, but I do have a problem getting past looks no matter what. It kind of makes me feel shallow, but I know that's not entirely true, because even if I found a person attractive looking, if they aren't enough like me, I wouldn't be able to form a relationship.
Anyways, I like my emotional animes and I guess I like them, because I experience feelings that I have a hard time otherwise feeling.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
The problem with being a clumsy computer loving aspie
*sigh* t t t t t .... Ok, so accidents happen. Even accidents that can cost you hundreds of dollars. This happens a lot with cars and I guess with computers, too. Unfortunately, I don't have insurance on computer parts, but the good news is that the damaged part is not terribly expensive. *sigh*
I recently had to buy a new power supply (the computer's graphics card was already underpowered), a graphics card (which was damaged from overheating, possibly from too much dust and dirt, and a blower.
So I get the parts out and oops, I knock the caged hard drive onto the concrete. I had hoped that nothing happened, so I put everything together as normal. Let's just say that I'm glad that have all my necessities backed up on a usb hard drive.
This is not fun. Not fun at all. I'm not sure where my backup version of Windows Vista is as it's not labeled. I have those disks and a windows upgrade disk, then to copy everything back to where it belongs. This is going to be a daunting task and I don't like it one bit.
I'm coping with this. I have some anxiety and I think about what I'm going to have to do to get it working again, but it's not like I used to be. Normally I'd be very anxious about how big a task it's going to be, but then I realize that I had to put my backup stuff on my laptop, too and get it all set up the way I wanted and it took hours or even days. *sigh* It's just going to be a big project is all, I guess.
I recently had to buy a new power supply (the computer's graphics card was already underpowered), a graphics card (which was damaged from overheating, possibly from too much dust and dirt, and a blower.
So I get the parts out and oops, I knock the caged hard drive onto the concrete. I had hoped that nothing happened, so I put everything together as normal. Let's just say that I'm glad that have all my necessities backed up on a usb hard drive.
This is not fun. Not fun at all. I'm not sure where my backup version of Windows Vista is as it's not labeled. I have those disks and a windows upgrade disk, then to copy everything back to where it belongs. This is going to be a daunting task and I don't like it one bit.
I'm coping with this. I have some anxiety and I think about what I'm going to have to do to get it working again, but it's not like I used to be. Normally I'd be very anxious about how big a task it's going to be, but then I realize that I had to put my backup stuff on my laptop, too and get it all set up the way I wanted and it took hours or even days. *sigh* It's just going to be a big project is all, I guess.
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