Aspies and aspies, I heard, don't work well together in a relationship. I can pretty much imagine why that might be. One wants or needs something in their relationship at certain moments and then the other doesn't and isn't willing to compromise, because of their aspie mind set.
I don't exactly live in a well populated place. Even going further out like 25 miles or 30 miles out won't take me anywhere where there's activity, especially activities that interest me. I'm an anime, computer, movie, and video game nerd. There are no local gaming clubs. No local anime clubs. No computer clubs. etc. So what if I did have the money to move out? I'd still prefer being in a place that's secluded like this place, because I like the peace and quiet of going out on the porch and not hear car after car after car go by. I lived most of my life in town till months ago and now I'm more comfortable where it's quieter. And then there's the idea of moving where I don't know people. Scary thoughts really. So what's a guy to do to meet people around here that are into the kinds of things I am or to even meet people for some basic events. Again, nothing of significance happens here. There's no activity to go to a couple times a month.
I go to a group for mental health needs and some social needs. No one new really. Two aspies there. One of them female as a matter of fact, but if I asked her out I'd feel like I asked out a sibling. She's a good friend, but I just think it'd feel kind of icky to try any kind of relationship with her.
That sort of leads to another point. I really don't know how things can fall into place once I do meet a female with the same interests. How would I feel? Would it just sound icky to me yet again? Why do I feel this way with some people anyway when a "what if" scenario goes through my head?
So I fantasize sometimes of a relationship with someone I started talking to. The first thing that comes to mind when I think of these scenarios is that the person has a different sort of personality than my own that I feel drawn to. Someone a little more perky and peppy, but not too crazy. Ok, ok, so maybe the person is quite a bit more willing to put themselves out there and quite the opposite than me, but still holds the same beliefs and some of my interests. It's not far off to think that this could happen, if said person even exists where I am and assuming the circumstances of meeting the person weren't far out of reach.
Then there's also the internet. Ah, the vast world of women that may be willing to date me. I know I have to answer a few profiles and I have, but it's still discouraging when I get no answer back. I have my profile there and no one bites. I bite, but no bites back. I've had one person, so far, answer, but I found out just by her being forward enough to tell me things in her life and I just thought she was a vindictive (trying to get back at her ex constantly), jealous (thinks that it's a good idea to screen a bf's e-mail, etc "found out through a okcupid quiz that we discussed), psycho (she flat out said she had anger problems and again that quiz said she'd kill someone if she thought she'd get away with it. "In this case, her father for not being there all her life. O.o "). I'd actually appreciate some help with presenting myself online better. Even if someone would like to see these profiles. Maybe something in my profile turns them off.
Another thing is that I'd like to have a specialist type therapist that's been known to help aspies quite a bit. But I think there may be one in a close city, but unfortunately that's another state and I'm sure medicaid won't pay for it.
Anyway, that's what's on my mind. Please comment, if you think you can help.
I am sure you are not alone in your thoughts. My son feels about the same way lately, feeling as if he won't be able to meet anyone because we live in the country and the groups are few and far between. He saw Aspie Affection tonight, but doesn't feel ready for that yet. But keep at it, I am sure you won't give up. Hey, that's what Aspie's are best at: never giving up! Good Luck!
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