Wednesday, April 24, 2013

How many people with Aspergers Syndrome don't work?

I tried looking up that statistics on how many Aspies don't work and get disability and couldn't find it.  But because all Aspies are different, I suspect that there's no way to really guess the answer.  I'm one that does not work.

I have had jobs in the past.  I started off with cleaning jobs.  In fact they were all more or less about cleaning besides my last two.  Manual work is a big turn off.  I do and did what I had to do now and even back then. Anymore, now and my physical health is not doing me well.  My back is giving me pain, when I stand around too much or bend over a lot.  I can stand to work doing certain manual tasks for a few very short hours if it were a job and not just house work.

My first couple of jobs were just to help pay for books for college.  As soon as classes started, I had to stop and do them.  After I graduated I found it difficult to find any work at all in my field.  So I still took on jobs I wasn't happy with.  But for whatever reason I wasn't working up to their standards.  At the time I didn't know what they meant and I still don't conclusively understand.

I had one job where I was pushing carts and was hoping to go at the registers.  Unknown to me that I even had AS at the time I tried this job nervously.  The last few months of the 4 years I was there I got worse and worse and my mind was not handling it very well.  I was stiff and rigid and nervous.  Even from the beginning I was this way, but I was even worse during that last little bit.  All the stimulation, having to socialize even just a little, and having to pay attention to so many of those things made me progress into burn out.  Turned out that the boss was just hoping I'd get better.  I never did.  And because I was getting worse, he asked me to quit.  So that was that.

I had bills from a credit card company that I still had to pay off.  I qualified for cash benefits from the state, which I had gotten before the job, because of another diagnosis and at the time I didn't get social security benefits.  I tried anxiously to get them, due to my condition.  I described in full how it made me feel and how it hindered me on my performance.  I was as detailed as I could be.  I was automatically approved.  It did take a long time, but I did that SSDI/SSI.

I wasn't content not working.  I felt that I needed to do something.  But it was like something I was supposed to do and not something I really wanted to do.  I did get another job, but during the last part of training I failed miserably at the job.  I figured taking orders by incoming phone wouldn't be so bad, but I was wrong.

Again, I'm not content that I get money without having a job.  I feel the pressure put on myself by what I perceive others in society to believe.  I would like a little more money and have thought of taking some small very part time job, but I think I want to take small steps first.  I want to move out of my parents' home.  Then I would be able to put myself in a situation where I feel the need for a little extra cash.  Moving out on my own would have a lot of benefits and I have already began the process with HUD.

So how many people with AS do not work?  Is it because they cannot stand the work environments they have always been put in?  How much pressure does it put on others with this diagnosis?  Can they press on like I was unable to without falling apart?  Do they constantly have to worry about job performance?  How do some that do work, keep it all together?

What job would be right for me?  I have thought of working for myself, but I really don't have it in me to do that.

2 comments:

  1. Many of us to not work and want to. why not work for yourself? How/why is it not possible? and yes you are plenty good without that job. Do it because you want to not because you want to feel adequate, i fall into that trap a lot

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  2. Hi There,
    You have chosen my topic for discussion because i always want to know that how many aspies really work..?
    But i really like the above comment which suggest the universal funda and that is "work for yourself".

    Children with Aspergers in Ireland

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