Step Up to the Plate, Schools!

I have two friends that I used to go to school with back till when I graduated in the mid-90s.  Now, I don't have any kids myself, but these two do and off and on I have heard from them as having problems with their kid being bullied in school.  Physical and verbal.  Given that this school is rural, I can say that they probably don't have as many resources as many of these others that talk about having anti-bullying programs.  Well, to some of my knowledge there are some resources they can tap into and it is in my opinion, not necessarily about not having the money to spend on such programs, but more about the reluctance to even look into such things, because this is the way it has been for a long time.

But bullying has gotten worse over the years.  More and more you are hearing about physical fights and suicides.  Now we have the Internet and now kids are being bullied there.  Now I had been a victim of cyberbulling before and now that doesn't bother me anymore, because I can see that it really isn't as threatening as it looks.  Anyways, cyberbullying is quite easy to over blow and when you are young, cyberbullying seems to be very difficult to deal with on the psychological side.  Users can be given anonymity, while they carry out their devious plots.  The fear comes from the unknown.  The bully can hide quite easily there and that makes it very very scary for young people.

As our society progresses, the ways in which one bullies someone else changes and progresses.  Unfortunately the way in which schools deal with it, in many cases, has not.  Underfunded and rural schools miss out on programs to deal with such things, leaving it up to the parents on what to do.  Should they bring in the police, if it gets too bad?  Take it up with a lawyer and press charges?  Some have sued schools as well.  Personally, I don't think suing a school is such a good idea.  You're taking the money they could use to help improve themselves and keeping it for yourself to spend on your kid's help.  Don't get me wrong.  Some people need that money, but when you take money from the school, that makes the problem worse, because then they have more difficulties doing what needs to be done.

And I know I've stated that they may not have the money for such programs, but to me that is sort of a cop out as well.  Surely they can have board meetings.  They can come up with more policies.  They can even talk to other people who have these programs and see what they did about it.  This is kind of a thing where the Internet can really help.  A school can make connections to any school and see what they did.  They can even research how to solve these problems.  But what I'm seeing is that the schools in this area and many others around the country that aren't taking any active rolls in stopping the problem is just not bothering to take the time to make the changes.  I'm sure they care, so I'm not about to take it as "it's our paycheck."  But the fact is that they're not taking the problem seriously enough and they are not taking the extra time it takes to figure out what to do.  If you are part of a school, be you a teacher, principal or even a Secretary, you owe it to the school you work for to take this extra time.  You owe it to the students.  Parents put them there to learn what needs to be known before they become an adult.  But because the parents stay home, it is now the school's responsibility to take care of the child or teenager.

So, what happens if the bully graduates or quits school?  What happens when they become an adult and they go out in the world.  Research has shown that these bullies end up in jail for later offenses.  This doesn't happen all the time, mind you, but when the bully feels they have gotten away with it, they can do whatever they want.  Then they learn the hard way that it is not.

I think schools should be responsible for the welfare, not just of the victims, but all of the students.  They are helping to raise kids just as parents are to do.  Some parents don't even care that much, so maybe the schools should take over.  I realize that it is mostly up to the parents, but if the parent doesn't care enough to raise the child right, then someone needs to do the job.  It has to be someone.  Honestly, I just think people should care more about these children and teenagers growing up.  Don't leave any of them out in the cold.  As a school, the people working there have to take stake in the people of our future.  Knowledge is one thing, but it's just as important to teach respect.  Sure that is part of schools and always has been, but we need to see much more of this.  Schools need to start stepping up to the plate.  I have always felt that they don't do what they should be doing and with these anti-bullying programs just beginning, I see no reason not to jump into this subject no matter what your funding or resources.  Find these things and just take charge.  It may take extra effort for a school to do so, but it is something that can be done and should not be put aside.

My PS4 Unboxing

I'm sorry about the audio problems.  My camera's mic no longer works as it should, but you see what you see anyways.  And to redo the whole thing would seem to be pointless.  Also, I could have sworn I had the camera set up straight when pointing to the tv.  Weird.  Really really weird.

Anyways, You know what's in the box.  One thing should point out is that when I go into "The Playroom" you'll notice that the screen blinks a couple times and reads "No Signal."  I thought I had one of the bad PS4s at that point.  =/  But the light on the PS4 was white and not blue as many articles would point out.  I was putting it through an HDMI switch, because I only have two HDMI ports on my tv.  Satellite receiver, PS3, and now this.  So, I plug it directly in and now it's fine.  This has to do with HDCP (High Definition Copy Protection).

Coming Soon: Playstation 4 unboxing and more...

Yes, I know the Playstation 4 is already out.  I realized much too late that I would have the money for the new system.  I was going to hold off, but I sold a lot of things that I realized that I had no more use for and combined it with a little extra.  Anyways, lucky for me, Walmart's website allowed me to order the Playstation 4 as a bundled item that came with any game of my choosing.  I chose Assassin's Creed IV:  Black Flag.  The game arrived, however the system is on "hug demand" as they called it.  It will not ship to me till December 11th or 12th.  I could get it the following Saturday the 14th or Monday the 16th.  Until then, I hope to start blogging again.

Empathy Communication

Sorry that it's been a long time since I lost wrote in my blog.  My mind is a little cloudy and has been due to a sleeping disorder I have.

Anyways, there is a classic aspie symptom that I am currently working on.  I have a hard time communicating to people how I feel about them.  I have bottled up emotions about people for a long time.  More or less for as long as I can remember.  The thing is that it hadn't been seen to me as an obstacle till recently.  I guess I wasn't aware of just how bad it was.  So if someone I know, especially someone in my physical vicinity, not necessarily online, I can't communicate how I feel about them.

For instance, if someone is in a room, empty or not, and they are quietly weeping, I tend to take a few minutes before I can read that emotion.  Mostly, I think I'm kind of aware, but I just don't want to be wrong, I think.  So far I've been able to ask people if something is wrong, if I'm the only one in the room at the time.  I can't really bring myself to express concern.  This is how it feels to me.  Someone feels bad clearly and I start to feel bad and my throat tightens up like I'm about to lose it.  Other times, I just generally feel uncomfortable, but not necessarily sad, so to speak.  I then close myself off emotionally and verbally and then keep to myself.

So, why is this happening.  One theory I have is that in school, I had moments where I had emotional outbursts and cried at a sad movie that may have been shown in school.  Or I may have been rejected by some girl I had something for.  This didn't happen all the time, but it did happen.  And so the guys of the classes would like look down on me or come down on me as if there was no reason for me to do so.  You know like "Real men don't cry."  That sort of thing.

Although this is part of it, I do see, if I go back to that time, that I did bottle emotions even then.  But they'd just come out in large bursts, sometimes in anger (never minding some of the times I showed anger when I was bullied.).

So what is it exactly that is the problem?  Well, all I can figure right now is that it's just like the many sensitivities that some aspies have already.  Textures, certain colors, touch (one of my personal mild sensativities), tastes, crowds, lights, etc.  I would like to address, as well, that I have a touch sensitivity, but it's mild.  I'm not a hugger, as much as I'd like to be.  There are some people I'd rather not hug anyway, but that's a boundary with me or many other non-aspie people, too.  I have made exceptions to the rule in the past and like I said, it is mild.  I remember someone in college that hadn't seen me in a while before I came back and she reached out and I obliged.  But I felt comfortable with her.  She had this glowing personality, though I was also sort of intimidated by her beauty.  I guess back then, even when there was a time when she wasn't currently seeing someone, I was only able to see her as a friend, possibly due to the fact that I thought she looked to beautiful for me.  Maybe I didn't want to be forced into the friend zone.  Honestly, I may not really have had a thing for her anyway and was just content where I was with her.

Back on track, I am currently working with my therapist on this.  She's suggesting I tell someone how I felt one day when they were feeling bad.  On top of that she also wants me to invite a friend over to where I live.  I listed off 3 people in my life that I'd like to have closer friendships with.  I am not doing so well at that.  I haven't done this yet and this was assigned to me a few weeks ago and my next appointment is near the end of this month.  I had thought I was going to see her every week or every other week.  So, I should probably get on this.

On another note, I think by showing I care when someone is hurting (women in particular) I also don't want to give anyone the wrong idea either.  I am sort of afraid to find out how I came off or do or say something wrong.  I don't want the messages to get mixed up.

Why Next Gen Games Don't Impress Me

Take a look at the last two pictures of the four.  Notice a difference.  Yeah?  How much of a difference?  Not much, is it?  I haven't seen any side by side comparisons between two of the same games, say Watch_Dogs(PS3 vs PS4), but honestly they're going to show you the PS4 graphics, right?  Of course, but...they look like what the current generation systems are already capable of.  Slap on some social media based firmware and there ya go.  Your next generation system.  XBox One isn't excluded from the same argument.  Playstation 4's specs are nearly identical with only the speed of the ram being higher.  Neither system has clearly shown us that they're better than last generation.  I'm sure even Knack could work with some minor tweaking, but I could be wrong.  All together though, I'm not impressed.  Will I get a PS4?  Probably, but only when Assassin's Creed appears only on the next gen consoles exclusively or there are more compelling games later on.  But of course, I have to face the fact that I'm poor, too.  But I'd kind of feel ripped off playing a game that I love that is only available on PS4, because frankly if the same game were made for PS3 I'd probably get almost the same experience.  Not much of an improvement.  Maybe Sony and Microsoft should have waited a few more years.  I mean, the best we may actually be getting is frame rate.  Okay, I'll admit that that might be a compelling reason to join the next generation.  An increase in frame rate would more or less smooth out the motion, but one could simply just get a 120hz or 240hz television.  But the fans have been talking "next gen" for a long time.  Sony and Microsoft gave in to their demand.  They offered no explanation as to why the next generation would not look much better.  And I'm still befuddled as to why fans are clamoring over them and can't wait to buy the new system.  Why is it that no one explained to them that a new system at this point wouldn't show enough improvement to warrant moving on?  Because they want more money.  You ask them for more.  They give you what they can while keeping the price affordable and this is what you got.  Thanks gamer fans...  I hope you're happy with your "better graphics."  And I'll probably have an empty wallet when I finally do see a few games worth shelling the money for a new system for and it'll be just because it's only on the next gen system.

I mean come on Sony...Microsoft...  Prove to me that the improvement in the gameplay and graphics is significant enough.  Prove me wrong.  I'd love to see you do it.  Maybe I'll change my tune, but I've seen videos of these new games and they don't look that much better.  In fact they look exactly the same.

Are Things Random or Are They Not so Random?

Ok, I was thinking about how life throws some people lemons and some are particularly sour and others not so sower.  Let's take for example someone who was sexually molested in their teens.  The question might always come up "Why did this happen to me?"  "Why not someone else?"  "Certainly it could have easily happened to someone that dressed a certain way, but why me?"

Well, I would start off by thinking that maybe life is just random like the roll of a die.  You don't know what number is going to come up.  When a die is rolled is random chance, right?  A slot machine.  A card game.  A computer pulling up a random number from one to a google.  Life just deals out random things to random people.  There's no reason to feel that you did something or that God hates you or anything like that.

But then I start thinking, well what if it isn't completely random.  I'm going to use the dice again.  And let's say you roll up a 6 three times in a row.  Lucky, right?  Chance, right?  Well, chance maybe.  I mean surely you don't really have control or intend to roll a 6 a second or third time.  Even if that's what you wanted, but think of this.  If someone or some computer were to analyze the roll from the moment you place it in your hand to the moment it stopped.  They could look at each and every movement of the die.  On top of that analyze the balance of the table, whether the table is completely flat, or even whether it was slippery or not.  Take all those into account and it can tell you why it rolled a 6.  It's because of all these events and specifications that it happened.

So, why do these things happen in your life.  Random just isn't the word for it, but much rather a completely and highly extreme set of events along with environmental elements that make these things happen, from the beginning of time until, now.  One thing leads to another.  And there is no way to tell if or when something in your life will happen.  It may not be random, but it is surely far too complicated for any man or machine to answer the question as to why a certain event in your life happened.  So, stop asking why.  It just happened.  It's not because of you.

A "Mysterious Girlfriend X" Thought

If you've never heard of the "Mysterious Girlfriend X" anime.  I can give you a short summary.  I've only seen one episode, so it's more like a synopsis.  I can tell you how it all starts.  So this girl transfers into a new school and her eyes are rather obscured by her hair.  She doesn't really talk to anyone.  At lunchtime some girls gather at her desk while she's there sleeping with her head down.  She kindly asks them to leave her alone, because she's tire and then slowly smacks her head down and starts sleeping again.  That may not be too weird, but at some point during the school day she starts laughing for no reason at all and she apologizes to the teacher and tries to stop.  So school's out and the main guy that sits next to her walks into the almost empty class room.  He wakes her up and tells her that she can go home.  So she's got drool on her desk.  She looks up and you can tell he was kind of taken by how good looking she was.  She gets up and leaves and for whatever weird reason, other than maybe he think he might like her.  He wipes his finger in her drool on her desk while she's gone and then tastes it.  So he's out of school for the next two weeks with a fever and cough that won't stop.  She hears of this and goes to his house.  She asks if he did what he did after she left that day and then puts her finger in her mouth and puts it in his.  Suddenly he's okay.  He asks what's going on and if he has or had some kind of bacteria or something that he caught from her.  She starts laughing hysterically and then explains that he's just lovesick and that he was in withdrawal.  So the show goes on a little more and they become boyfriend/girlfriend.

So basically this is a really strange anime about a weird mysterious girl.  So maybe I was thinking that she's got some back story that she might be alien or whatever or that maybe she has some psychological back story.  It is anime after.  That's kind of what I would predict.  But now I'm thinking otherwise.  I think this is just about a weird girl and how he's trying to see what makes her tick and why she's so weird.  That's kind of the hook.  She's just weird, so you want to know more about her.  You want to know what makes her tick.  I'm not sure I can say that I've ever met someone that I wanted to know more about, because they were weird, but it's kind of interesting to think about.  I mean there are people out there that are just so weird or mysterious that other people are drawn to them just to find out more about them.

And the mysterious factor made me think that well, maybe it's okay for me not to talk a lot.  I'm not a big talker.  I'm quiet.  But would that not be a reason for someone to come over to me and try to talk me up?  I mean it was explained to me once that, if you're the quiet one at a party and all alone or whatever the case may be.  Being the only one that's not with another group, people may look at you and notice you.  Or they may be too absorbed in someone else.  Many times, though, I'm told that when you're the only one not doing what everyone else is doing, you may not think you're being noticed, but actually you stand out.  You're not blending in at all like you think you are.

So this is also making me think that if I talk a little at a time out there, assuming I go out more, that my people will want to know why I am a certain way or may want to see what makes me tick.  And no one is boring.  One may be boring to another person, but no one is truly boring.  I have my beliefs and wonders and my interests, my curiosities.  I have my likes and dislikes.  Surely someone's going to want to uncover all my mysteries.