I was a tell it like it is, when it is, kind of person. When I was mad, I let you know.
I made a video a while back that I eventually had to erase. Why, because it targeted a place and people. More specifically the school I went to and the people in it. I told it like it was. The bullies in the school treated me like crap. I was punished for telling it like it was to the bullies. I was punished for speaking my mind. Dammit! I was mad. I've learned to forgive since then, but it doesn't change the horrible mistakes they made in treating me like the criminal, when I was trying to survive the jungle that it was.
Here's the thing. When you're mad, your tone of voice and the words you use to convey your hurt, that's all they hear. They feel attacked. They don't care what your message is. They could give two craps what your problem is. It's kind of selfish not to think of you, but that's human nature. You're attacked, don't expect your message to get across to people. It won't happen. They're too much inside themselves to care that you're hurt, because you're hurting them in retaliation.
Use "I" messages. "I feel hurt that you didn't stand up to me. And because you're the principal, it is my personal belief that the victim (being me) should receive help. Not punishment." "I feel I was violated."
Now being a person with mild autism, and at the time I did not know this either, I didn't know how to control my rage. I didn't know how to react. Or maybe I didn't, but felt no control over it, because I was hurt so much. Ignoring them only built up my rage. I felt that their advice and their actions or inactions were inadequate. They needed a better way to handle me. They attacked me like I was the bad guy. They were mad at me. What right did they have to be mad at me? If only they could see through my eyes.
But I must let that go. They were totally clueless and inadequately prepped for someone like me, that just couldn't handle my issues. So knowing now what they didn't then, I can only wonder what they would do. I can only hope that future generations have it better.
I made a video a while back that I eventually had to erase. Why, because it targeted a place and people. More specifically the school I went to and the people in it. I told it like it was. The bullies in the school treated me like crap. I was punished for telling it like it was to the bullies. I was punished for speaking my mind. Dammit! I was mad. I've learned to forgive since then, but it doesn't change the horrible mistakes they made in treating me like the criminal, when I was trying to survive the jungle that it was.
Here's the thing. When you're mad, your tone of voice and the words you use to convey your hurt, that's all they hear. They feel attacked. They don't care what your message is. They could give two craps what your problem is. It's kind of selfish not to think of you, but that's human nature. You're attacked, don't expect your message to get across to people. It won't happen. They're too much inside themselves to care that you're hurt, because you're hurting them in retaliation.
Use "I" messages. "I feel hurt that you didn't stand up to me. And because you're the principal, it is my personal belief that the victim (being me) should receive help. Not punishment." "I feel I was violated."
Now being a person with mild autism, and at the time I did not know this either, I didn't know how to control my rage. I didn't know how to react. Or maybe I didn't, but felt no control over it, because I was hurt so much. Ignoring them only built up my rage. I felt that their advice and their actions or inactions were inadequate. They needed a better way to handle me. They attacked me like I was the bad guy. They were mad at me. What right did they have to be mad at me? If only they could see through my eyes.
But I must let that go. They were totally clueless and inadequately prepped for someone like me, that just couldn't handle my issues. So knowing now what they didn't then, I can only wonder what they would do. I can only hope that future generations have it better.
